|Pardon the Expression|
|ITV broadcast date||Never transmitted|
|Writer||Harry Driver and Vince Powell|
Leonard Swindley is forced to sack Mr Frobisher, Dobson and Hawkes’s Father Christmas who has been caught drinking on the job. Even though it’s now January seconded manager Wally Hunt is not pleased as the stock of toys is still far too high and he was keeping the grotto open to push sales. His solution is to rebrand the grotto; Father Christmas and Fairy Glitter are dispensed with and Swindley and gormless trainee assistant manager Patrick Gorman are installed in their place as “King Fun” and his jester “Jingle”. Things start to go wrong when their predecessor’s bottles of Newton & Ridley ale are found in the lucky dip and the radiator in the grotto goes into overdrive. When the day comes to an end Mrs Edgeley reports seeing Mr Frobisher leaving with the two men’s everyday clothes and, still in their grotto clothing, they are forced to travel by bus to his home to collect the items, provoking anger from the harassed conductor and being the cause of a strange case of mistaken identity in a cream cracker competition. On arriving at his house they find that the journey was a waste of time - Frobisher had left their suits with “Fairy Glitter” when he left the store. The next day, when things seemingly couldn’t get worse for Swindley’s dignity, Hunt imposes on him once more; keen to sell his extra stock of toy Daleks, he has the grotto transformed into a “lunar cave”. Gorman is a spaceman while Swindley, fully costumed, is the “thing from another world”…
- Father Christmas - Charles Victor
- Patrick Gorman - Donal Donnelly
- Fairy Glitter - Carmel Cryan
- Boy - Martin Cook
- Mrs Frobisher - Nita Valerie
- Bus Conductor - Trevor Peacock
- Mod One - Allan O'Keefe
- Mod Two - Malcolm Douglas
- Fat Woman - Jessie Robins
- Passengers - Elsie Woodhouse, Veronica Howard and Diana Flacks
- This episode, intended to be broadcast either over Christmas 1965 or to open the programme's second season on 3rd January 1966, was never transmitted.
This episode was included in Network DVD collection Pardon the Expression - The Complete Second Series, released on 24th August, 2009.