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| The Smile | |
| ITV release date | 12th December 2014 |
| Writer | Mark Burt |
| Director | Alan Toner |
| Previous episode | None |
| Next episode | The List |
Kirk Sutherland is having his hair cut by his sister Maria Connor but she notices that something is wrong. He admits that although he's never been happier in his life, he's forgotten how to smile and he's worried how he will look on the wedding photographs: "Every time I try smiling, it's like me lips start a fight with me mouth." Maria tries relaxation techniques on him and tells him to close his eyes, think of Beth and then just smile... The result, as she says, replaces the clowns in her nightmares. Kirk wonders what he's going to do...
Solution 1: The Duet[]
Kirk wonders if he can go as Adam Ant and wears a highwayman's mask. What he really wants is to smile naturally as he used to be able to do and he shows Maria an old photograph of the two of them together and it reminds her of when they used to duet to the Barenaked Ladies song One Week. She gets Kirk on his feet for an impromptu rendition using brushes as microphones and the result is a success as he grins happily through the performance.
Solution 2: The Cartoon[]
Maria suggests that he thinks about the nice things Beth does for her such as making him breakfast in bed ("She reckons I'm spoilt enough in bed as it is"), holds hands with him ("I've got sweaty palms") or snuggles up to him on the sofa ("She steals all me body heat"). Maria admits that the only thing is to get bladdered and this makes Kirk smile as he thinks of the way she says "I've love you, Kirky" when she's tanked up. (This solution interspersed live action with short animations)
Solution 3: The Facelift[]
Maria's solution is a facelift. She uses sellotape to pull his lips apart in a smile-like grimace. Kirk thinks he looks like Jack Nicholson in Batman and Maria points out that the wedding does have a 1980s theme...